Kristin Chenoweth

Whenever you think of John Grant you immediately think of a 4th grade teacher right? That is exactly why you will find me every Monday Wednesday and Friday at Will Rodgers Elementary school tutoring 4th graders. Today was my first day and it was awesome. Not awesome as in I really enjoy helping kids learn how to read good and do other things good too, but awesome as in the kids say some of the funniest stuff ever. Like today when I was helping the teacher who was a little bit scattered one of the girls told me that she usually isn't this crazy but she had coffee and a red bull this morning. I also had a kid try to hustle me with some Dragon Ball Z cards. He told me that each card he had was worth $5 on ebay but he would sell all 36 of his cards to me for $100. They were a neat item but I had to get it for the right price. A lot of times 4th graders will come in with items that have a lot of sentimental value but I'm about money so we weren't able to make a deal or do any paper work (first one to message me and can name that reference gets a shout out in my next blog). My biggest fear about being a tutor is having a kid piss in my backpack. Seriously with my bag plus the books inside, someone could buy a moped. All kids under the 9th grade seem the same to me. I told this one kid to go back to his seat in my nice voice and he told me that he wasn't a 2nd grader and to talk to him like a young man, brat.

It's pretty obvious that I'm a big deal but I didn't realize how popular I was going to become within the first three weeks of school. I'm terrible with names and white people look exactly the same to me so I seriously don't call anyone I've met by their name. It's always a hey man or how's it going sport. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up.

Tomorrow the OSU game is on ESPN and myself and some friends have been camping out since Monday night. You all should watch and look for me, I will be painted all orange and wearing my black Speedo.

Apart from tutoring I also sell my plasma as a form of income. The people at the clinic are so nice and friendly they boost my self esteem every time I go in. They are always telling me how nice my veins are and how diseaseless my body is. There are two black guys who work there so they are hilarious, that just goes without saying. Every time they tell me I look like a celebrity. The first time I was told I look just like James Marsden, told you I like these people. Yesterday I was told I look just like Stiffler. I mean I usually get Brad Pitt or Matt Damon but those guys aren't bad either. Selling plasma is looked down upon because people who usually sell are prostitutes and drug dealers. I sell because it really helps people and I need money. It's a win win. Plus I just want to help those around me, and by giving up and hour of my week and 32 ounces of my plasma I can make a difference in Stillwater (plus I really need root beer money).

"I think crime pays, the hours are good and you travel a lot"

Later, JG