As we all know Tebowing is a new thing were you pretend to pray. But something that's not quite as well known is Sandra Bullocking. Sandra Bullocking is when you drive in the rain and make African American males get in the car with you. No matter how many times they say no, or tell you they have a home and a family you make them get in the car with you and you adopt them. After adoption and only after is official, you teach them how to play football and begin planning your retirement.
Yesterday it was a rainy day in Greensboro and I got in the car to begin my Christmas shopping. I was driving down the highway and there was a man walking in the rain on the bridge I was going under. So I got on the next exit and turned around to go pick him up. I pulled over rolled down my window and asked him if he wanted a ride. Here I was wearing a nice polo, being super friendly, smiling and not being intimidating at all.
He just said, "Nah man, I'm good." He said no. Seriously he would rather walk in the pouring rain then get in the car with me? This had to be a fluke so I drove around looking for more people to try to give a ride to. There was a lady walking with a stroller down the sidewalk, she said no. There was an elderly man waiting for the bus, he also said no. I went 0 for 3 that day, I guess that's how any Mets player feels everyday of the regular season.
I really want to create a Iphone app. It would be called the perfect boyfriend app. Guys would install it and every time their girlfriend texted them it would text back saying something they want to hear. It would put important dates in the calendar, find restaurants she would like, pretty much everything the guy doesn't want to do. I would also create the perfect girlfriend app. Every time a girl text her boyfriend, if there is anything in the message that sounds, angry, whiny, or doesn't include something about food being made, it shuts the phone off and can't be restarted for an hour.
"I don't think there's anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers... I mean Chargers."
-Bill Belichick
Later, JG
Yesterday it was a rainy day in Greensboro and I got in the car to begin my Christmas shopping. I was driving down the highway and there was a man walking in the rain on the bridge I was going under. So I got on the next exit and turned around to go pick him up. I pulled over rolled down my window and asked him if he wanted a ride. Here I was wearing a nice polo, being super friendly, smiling and not being intimidating at all.
He just said, "Nah man, I'm good." He said no. Seriously he would rather walk in the pouring rain then get in the car with me? This had to be a fluke so I drove around looking for more people to try to give a ride to. There was a lady walking with a stroller down the sidewalk, she said no. There was an elderly man waiting for the bus, he also said no. I went 0 for 3 that day, I guess that's how any Mets player feels everyday of the regular season.
I really want to create a Iphone app. It would be called the perfect boyfriend app. Guys would install it and every time their girlfriend texted them it would text back saying something they want to hear. It would put important dates in the calendar, find restaurants she would like, pretty much everything the guy doesn't want to do. I would also create the perfect girlfriend app. Every time a girl text her boyfriend, if there is anything in the message that sounds, angry, whiny, or doesn't include something about food being made, it shuts the phone off and can't be restarted for an hour.
"I don't think there's anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers... I mean Chargers."
-Bill Belichick
Later, JG
No comments:
Post a Comment