Shut your mouth whenever you're talking to me.

I love camping. Let me repeat myself, I love camping. So whenever Luke told me that we would be spending two days camping roughly 20 miles from the Mexican border I was thrilled to say the least. So we packed up the 15 passenger van, left the frozen snow filled grounds of New Life Ranch, and began our 20 something hour drive. The first night we stayed at a camp in west Texas which was a really neat experience just to see others who have similar interest as myself and how God uses them in different ways. It was a short stay and we made our way further south and eventually made it to Big Bend national park (not Big Ben, apparently someone who will remain anonymous thought we were going to London). We arrived at our camp site around 8 P.M and after leaving the snow and seeing sand and cacti I was ready to get my tan on. I stepped out of the van and it hit me, freezing temperatures and a sickening wind chill.

We make camp, cooked dinner, and went to bed. You may remember that I love camping, what I failed to mention was that I hate tents, and cold weather. I got in my sleeping bag and tried to fall asleep, little did I know I was about to experience one of the strangest nights of my entire life. I awoke around 1 A.M and my pillow was frozen. I guess I drool a lot in my sleep which froze my pillow case and to my face. I felt extremely claustrophobic and I could not feel my feat. As quietly as I possibly could, I got out of the tent and made my way to the van. Before I opened the door I heard the scariest noise of my entire life, seriously. It sounded like a Lion giving birth to a Rhino, horn first. I decided to sleep in the van for the rest of the night. My plan did not work at all. When I packed I packed like someone who was packing for a camping trip in Northern Mexico, so I had plenty of shorts and tshirts but one or two jackets. So I put on 3 additional pairs of socks on to my feet which I couldn't feel, a few pairs of shorts, and a pair of furry boots I found under one of the seats. I fell asleep for about an hour and woke up again and my mind was playing terrible tricks on me. My first thought was that I most definitely had frost bitten feet. So my next thought was Mr. Deeds and that my feet are going to be black the rest of my life. After that thought was I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET A CHACO TAN EVER AGAIN!!! So I knew the only way I would be able to survive this was to either use the lighter in my pocket to light a section of the van on fire, or go to the bathroom where the heater was.

I decided to go with the bathroom. This bathroom was about 100 yards away with Lions, Mexicans, and Bears! Because of all the socks I was wearing I could not fit my shoes on my feet. So I put them on high heel style and made the dash for the bathroom. I finally made it and it felt like Christmas morning. There was a giant heater and the smell of Lemon Pledge filled the air. I began to strip and placed my feet under the hand dryer. Once I had feeling in my toes again I knew if I was going to survive I needed to get sleep. I could hear Same Moreton in my head telling me I had all the resources necessary to stay alive. Whenever you are dying with hypothermia you do not think straight, much less think about comfort. So I grabbed 6 rolls of toilet paper to act as my pillow and slept on the floor of a public restroom at a nation park. As gross as this sounds you have no idea until you actually experience it. I woke up every 20 minuets all night thinking someone was going to come in and kidnap me. My mind works great at 4 A.M so I was thinking of excuses of why I would be on the floor. My first thought was to pull a Jason Borne and pretend I had no idea who I was and spit out random facts but I thought I could do better. So I decided to pretend I worked for border patrol and was on a very important stake out. Clever I know. Luckily for me and everyone else no one walked in. All throughout the night I honestly thought I was going to die. I could not get warm at all and I could not fall asleep. I decided if I was going to die I might as well say goodbye to a few friends. I whipped out my phone and sent some pretty awesome text messages. I'm sure people have gotten drunk text before, but I bet very few have gotten "I'm dying of hypothermia outside of Mexico so I'm in a public bathroom so I won't be eaten by bears" text. Luckily I didn't have service so only a few of those messages got out. I finally made it to morning, and knew that I needed to do something different that night. We spent the entire day hiking/modeling in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. We made it back for dinner and the night was slowing creeping in. We decided to play cards in the van with the heaters full blast. I knew if I slept in the van after the game it would still be warm and might make for a better night. After the game I kicked everyone out of my "bed" took enough Tylenol PM that would knock out Snuffaluffagous and prayed I wouldn't wake up until morning. I started my prayer with God if you really love me and then I woke up and breakfast was already made (thanks God).

This was our last day so we decided to drive to the Mexican border and check out a hot spring right off of the Rio Grande. I had a great night sleep so I decided to drive. Before one can get to the hot springs one must drive through the mountains on a very narrow road. When I say narrow I mean it. I mean so narrow I'm surprised my Rosey O Donald sized ego made it through that pass. I would not feel comfortable riding a bike on it but here I was in a giant van. I couldn't let someone else drive because I was from North Carolina, we invented driving/ NASCAR. So we begin driving and it's seriously a 15 foot drop on my left and jagged rocks on my right all the way through the curving mountains. I finally make it through alive and we started our walk to the hot spring. Driving out was even more dangerous. I made it through only to find out we left some of our stuff so I had to drive the entire thing all over again. I think I peed a little bit each time so at the end of the ordeal I was glad I was still wearing my swimmies. Just kidding, but not really.

The hot springs were awesome, the water was so warm and it was such a nice day. As I was soaking in the spring right next to the Rio Grande and could see Mexico right across the river. I have never left our country before and do not have a passport but come on how hard could it be to swim across the Rio Grande and sneak into Mexico? Without much hesitation I dove into the freezing cold water and made my way to Mexico. I stood on foreign soil for the first time and felt so far away from God. It was like He could no longer hear me because I was no longer in His favorite country. I stood there long enough to get a picture and I swam back. Guys sneaking into the US is so much easier than I thought. We continued to soak in the warm waters when all of the sudden a man across the river appeared. There he was, a real live Mexican! Usually whenever one see a man of that nationality on his or her own soil we tend to be annoyed. Whenever I saw that man I felt cultured. Whenever I was swimming across the Rio Grande I experienced something deep. What right do I have to enjoy these freedoms I take for granted everyday? And Why do I get to have these, because I was born here? I felt sorry for that man who does not get to experience the things I get to everyday. Things like name brands, hats that aren't circles, the English language, and the always delicious Taco Bell. You would think more would swim over, I mean seriously guys its pretty easy.

After my trip I learned a lot about myself and a lot about those who I will work along side of for the following months to come.

"I want to change the word, and do something valuable and beautiful. I want people to remember me before I'm dead, and then more afterwords" -Russell Brand

Later, JG

New Years resolution- Same as every year!

Well today is my last day in North Carolina and it feels like I just got here. Christmas morning was almost cruel. My family wakes me up at 6 A.M but it gets even worse than that. My parents thought it would be cool to go feed the homeless that morning. Don't get me wrong it was a great experience, but 6 in the morning? What's wrong with homeless lunch? So we get there and we start making pancakes, and other things hungry people like. My parents are attending a church I have never been to before and it's a cool place, but the entire congregation are granolas. Meaning everyone (except a few girls) had a long beard, wore clothing from Goodwill, and was telling a story about something in their life. Sounds nice except I couldn't tell who was homeless. Every time someone walked into the kitchen I wasn't sure if I should ask for help or tell them it isn't time for breakfast. But that isn't even the worse part. My parents thought that we should open one present before we go. So of course the present we open is a Wii. Do you know how slow time goes when one is flipping pancakes knowing that virtual baseball could be happening at one's own home? Well I do and it's pretty slow. As we are leaving I saw this little boy open up a present that some of the people from the church got him. I wish I could describe the look in his face once he saw his new toy. He runs up to me with tears in his little eyes and gives me the biggest hug and thanks me. At that moment I understood the true meaning of Christmas and all of the sudden that Wii didn't sound so desirable... Just kidding we left before anyone opened presents, but how awesome would that have been if that really happen?


New Years Eve, what a night! My boy Philip gives me a shout about a huge party going down in downtown Gboro. Let me tell you this party had literally everything. Tons of people too many to count, fire dancers, men in kilts, people doing this swing thing, a trampoline and a midget! Unfortunately the midget was just a college girl who was at the party and didn't do anything cool but was just with friends (Which I found out the hard way). Apparently "little people" take offense when you ask them what they do. I guess she just liked to sit there and text because that's what she did all night. So the party is going great I'm wearing some phresh kicks, pull up in my mom's minivan, and just chilax. Everything is going great until well I'm not sure how to say this. Most people who hang out in a social gathering know that there is always that one girl. You know the girl who is loudest out of everyone and just wants drama. She was at this party but she decided to outdo herself this time. Nothing ruins a party quite like a girl falling off the roof and an ambulance coming. Thanks a lot loud girl.

"You know driving drunk isn't as hard as everyone makes it sound" -Lauren Gardner. (this quote was not taken out of context in the least bit)


Later, JG.

Nevermore

So I was laying in bed yesterday morning when I get a knock on my door. It was strange for a number of reasons. One it was 7 A.M. Two it was a single knock. Three it was 7 A.M. in the morning. So I get out of bed put on some clothes and hope whoever is at my door has a good reason for waking me up. There are only a few things in life that make me immediately pissed off. One of those is being woken up for a stupid reason. (another one is when the hot dog bun breaks in half, seriously that makes me so cross) So I open the door and no one is there. I was livid. Not only did I get out of bed and put on clothes but it is freezing and no one is there. I got back to bed super angry trying to figure out who would ding dong ditch me at 7 A.M. I go to work trying to figure out who the funny guy is. As I return home I notice something in front of my door. I look closer and there is a dead bird in front of my place. Yes a stupid bird flew into my door not only killing itself but far worse waking me up. Am I saying that my sleep is more important than that poor bird's life? YES!!! I hate most animals but birds are right up there with horses in my list of useless animals.

Later, JG

All I do is win

So tonight ended my perfect driving record. For over three years I hadn't been in an accident or pulled over at all. That is saying a lot because in high school I drove my dad's 1994 minivan and that thing was perfect for burnouts and drag racing. I didn't need a speedometer because every time it hit 80mph the entire thing would shake, so that one time I got it up to 110mph you would have thought the van had Parkinson's disease. But anyway tonight I was on my way back from Christmas shopping in Faytown with Lexie and I got pulled over. I run through everything I'm going to say in my mind and I roll down the window and its a female cop. She tells me that I was going 80 in a 65. That was such crap because I was only going 75 and I told her the cruise control was on and set at 70. She takes my license and other information and then it gets weird. She comes back and she was like "You need to get a new license" I said "Its not expired, are you talking about the crack in it?" She replies "Nope your face is a lot cuter in life than the picture on your license." She then asks me where I go to school and where I'm from, where I work, whose car am I driving just really personal questions. She gives me a warning after I play the NLR card, and tells me to be careful in my girlfriends car. Okay how did she know Lexie was my girlfriend? It was a weird night. As I look back it all makes sense. Favre has always been my favorite NFL player. His first season was the year I was born and we both ended our streak tonight. He hadn't missed a game, I had never gotten pulled over. This had to be an act of God.

I would just like to apologize to J Ho and AC and the 5 girls from their house who came out to NLR the other week and Garret and myself left in the west 40 haha. Sorry that was rude of us.

When I first started this blog is was all about having fun and just getting memories written down to look back at. Now I feel so much pressure when I write. Not only do I have 19 followers but millions of others who read this but don't follow. Not to mention my girl AP reads this to all of her sorority sisters in Texas. I can't be witty and hilarious all the time, it takes a toll on my health trying to please everyone. I mean pretty much everyone in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Virginia, North Carolina, and Alaska read this. Oh well its the price I have to pay.

In case anyone is interested Get him to the Greek is not a good date movie with Lexie Garret and Beth. What is even worse is instead of finishing the movie Garret decides to jump in the creek. Yes myself and G-love jumped in Flint creek on a brisk December night, why are boys so dumb in front of girls? Oh yeah because we are awesome!

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye- Helen Keller. Oh the irony.

Later, JG

I whip my hair back and forth

Over the last two weeks I have gotten the opportunity to travel to 4 different colleges to assist Rhett in recruiting summer staff for the 2011 summer.

OSU- While we recruit we have a display with pictures, brochures that explain what we do during the summer, and candy. Lots and lots of candy. It's difficult to find quality Christians at a secular university such as Oklahoma State, and most of the students just walked by not very interested. The only way to get students to talk to us was by luring them in with pixie stix. Although this tactic was not extremely successful, some key phrases did come about. Some of these phrases include: I pegged you as a pixie stick kind of girl, candy from strangers all you have to do is bend over and pick it up (pointing to the candy on the ground). So Rhett's job was to talk to the students, my job was to set the mood so I just kind of sat there. A couple walked by and the girl saw who we were and told the boy she was with that she went to NLR for 3 years as a kid, he responded with "No s***? " I went to Kanakuk! Being at OSU allowed me to see some good friends including the one and only Katie Berry. Guys I like Katie a lot, so much I even went to a Biology class with her. After the first 3 minutes I got up and left but it was the thought that counts anyway. So we are wrapping up the the final day at OSU and myself Rhett, Geoff Maples, and Conner are tossing a disc when I see a student checking out what was behind our display. Geoff notices too and approaches the young man and asks if he needs help with anything. He replies no that he just took a piece of candy. So Geoff walks away and the students walks away as well. I decided to follow the student just in case. I was a good 30 yards behind him when he starts walking faster. I begin to run after him and he sees me and takes off. He runs into a building and is nowhere to be found. I reconnect with Geoff who came in the back way. All of the sudden homeboy walks out wearing different clothes holding Geoff's new Droid in his hand along with Conner's Ipod. Geoff looks at homeboy and asks for his phone back and homeboy just gives it to him. Homeboy you are really dumb, for realz.

OBU-After spending a few days there I decided a few things. One, I will never home school my kids, ever. If you think about it kids getting bullied isn't always a bad thing. If a kid is acting weird the bully will let him know and the kid will stop doing it, therefore will stop acting socially awkward and will begin to function better in the world. Yes it hurts at the time but I'm so thankful for all the times my older brother beat me up for listening to the Spice Girls. Two, there were way more interesting people at OBU than OSU. This Asian student stopped by and asked us what we were. We explain we were a summer camp and she laughed at us and informed us that it is winter...


SBU- Luke Stehr likes camp, a lot.

Missouri S & T- This school is kind of labeled for being a nerdy school. The reason it has this reputation is largely due to the fact that it is. But I always look for the silver lining and here it is. I was washing my hands in the bathroom and this girl (who was without a doubt home schooled for most of her life) walks in. She looks at me with the absolute meanest look I have ever seen. The kind of look that says, "You freak why are you in the woman's bathroom?!?" I just smile and continue to wash my hands. She looks at me then turns her head at looks at the urinals. Looks back at me then back at the urinals, then back at me and turns around walks away while saying, "Well that worked out great for me." She just so happened to be in the church service I was at and would not make eye contact with me, and I tried so so hard for that to happen.

On our way back to Oklahoma Rhett and myself stop at the Wal-Mart in Missouri. The bathroom was being cleaned so I just waited outside the door. While I'm waiting these two girls come out with a kid in each arm. They looked to be about my age but it was hard to tell. Thing 1 says to her child 'I'm going to put you in the cart now." She then looks right at me and says, "Can I put you in the cart?" Myself being the clever, witty person I am said, "No." She then says "It's alright I'm preggo anyway." Classy

I have some really strange friends. J Ho just isn't normal, AC pretends to hate me every time I hang out with her so maybe she really does... Yeah those are pretty much my only friends who visit me.

Jesus' first miracle, turning the water into wine. The Baptist's first miracle, turning the wine into grape juice.

Later, JG

X

"Don't be stupid, that's what we have politicians for." "If 10% was good enough for Jesus it should be good enough for the government?" These were just a few of the bumper stickers on this awesome black PT Cruiser I was behind on my way to the Verizon store. I mean after I read those I instantly changed my political views and felt the need to get some for my own non-existent vehicle. I mean honestly if you are going to try to look like an intelligent person with any kind of political wisdom, at least take off the 6 (yes that's right 6) nascar stickers off your Cruiser as well as the Palin '12 sticker. Oh and maybe change the Texas license plate as well.

Last week was my mom's birthday so it thought about all the advice she has shared with me over the years and here are a few that helped me the most. "Don't worry about your grades, just be the best athlete and get everyone to like you. Fine get a tattoo, ruin your body I don't care." There was this one time in 10th grade when I got suspended from school for cheating, which was stupid because I wasn't cheating for myself but I stupid friend who couldn't pass a science quiz, and they called my mom to come pick me up in the principal's office. Apparently they never told her why I was there so when she got there and found out why, it was actually a relief for her to know I was in trouble and not the hospital again for doing something awesome. So thanks mom for all the advice and remember that time you told me I could do whatever I wanted to once I was out of the house? Well I'm JG so obviously I have been doing what I want for awhile now, and I'm going to see Jackass 3 this weekend! Get the jello and chocolate pudding ready, and the ice every half hour. Good times.

Every Tuesday I mentor a 4th grader for 2 hours and it has been the most effective form of birth control ever created. This kid has so much energy its ridiculous. I mean he is an awesome guy, but when the first thing he says to me is "Hey Mr. John, I didn't take my medicine today" makes me wonder if I ever want kids, seriously.

Before I finished I just wanted everyone to know just how awesome Annie Paige is. Get to know her she is really cool. Once you talk to her you will soon realize that her ability to kick herself in the head is the least interesting thing about her, honestly she is great. Oh and Katie Berry is really funny, for a girl.

Girls at christian colleges are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Later JG

Purple Fuzzies,

So this past weekend I had time off so I decided to drop in on my friends up at the U of A. It was a big weekend because Arkansas was playing the number one seen Alabama that Saturday. I arrived Friday night and people were outside the stadium and had been there camping out since Monday. I figured I'm pretty well known so the best way to find people is to start walking down the street where there are already thousands of people. Oh fun fact I actually know the girl who was in the very first tent, just throwing that out there. I barely start walking and I hear someone yell my name. As luck would have it it just so happened to be David Cox. Boys and girls let me tell you, David Cox is a much different person outside of camp. He was actually hilarious, for the first time in my life I enjoyed being around him.

I later met up with my other friends JHo and Anna Clark, and we went to Taco Bell and Wal Mart (you know the places that we didn't go to at all all summer). So the next day was the football game and I still didn't have a ticket. Not gonna lie I almost felt uncomfortable walking around the busy streets with one finger up indicating I needed one ticket. It was funny because many people felt the need to put another finger up at me even though they already had tickets... Stay classy Arkansas. I'm walking down the street and some one else yells at me and she is in a car and it was one of those I know who you are but can't remember at the moment so it was real awkward because I didn't know what to say, sorry Allie. I finally find this nice african american male and he offers to sell me his ticket. At first he asks for $300 but because I grew up on the streets I knew what to do. I laugh and walk off knowing he will hollar back. Well he wasn't no hollar back guy so I ended up walking back. I told him I was from NC and that I drove all through the night to get here but left my ticket on the table. ( yes I am from NC true, yes I did drive all through the night to get here true, did I leave my ticket on the table, not so true) So I show him my NC drivers license, tell him the seats are awful, the game will be a blowout, and no one is looking for a single ticket. Yup I definitely walked away with a $300 ticket for $60. The seats were awful so I just walked past the security and sat in the student section. I'm telling you if you walk anywhere acting like you own the place you will be surprised with how little people will try to stop you.

I drove back that night because Arkansas lost so everyone went home or started studying for Monday. I however had a rondevu that night so it ended up working out. I like to think I'm pretty good at coming up with a plan B on the spur of the moment situations. So whenever my phone died on the way back I had to come up with something. I could have either went home and called my friend the let my friend know I couldn't make it because my phone died, but that would have been pretty lame and lets face it JG does not stoop to the lame level. So I stop at the hotel to use their computer. The clerk tells me the computer has been down all day and won't be fixed until the next day. I asked to see it anyway and I'm no computer geek by any means but I totes def figured out the modem was plugged into the wrong part of the computer and I fixed it within like 3 mins, just sayin. So I get on facebook find my friend's number call my friend to make sure we were still on for our rondevu find out where we are meeting and all that jazz while using the hotel's phone.

I keep having this reoccurring dream that my high school diploma isn't real and I have to do my senior year all over again. So I guess it's more of a nightmare. So I go to some random school in oklahoma and end up playing football as a 20 year old senior. That's about as far as I get before I wake up but last night for some reason the Duggars were at my game. I guess because I was at their house Sunday night they were still fresh on my mind.

"JG put me in your blog"-Everyone

Later, JG