Nevermore

So I was laying in bed yesterday morning when I get a knock on my door. It was strange for a number of reasons. One it was 7 A.M. Two it was a single knock. Three it was 7 A.M. in the morning. So I get out of bed put on some clothes and hope whoever is at my door has a good reason for waking me up. There are only a few things in life that make me immediately pissed off. One of those is being woken up for a stupid reason. (another one is when the hot dog bun breaks in half, seriously that makes me so cross) So I open the door and no one is there. I was livid. Not only did I get out of bed and put on clothes but it is freezing and no one is there. I got back to bed super angry trying to figure out who would ding dong ditch me at 7 A.M. I go to work trying to figure out who the funny guy is. As I return home I notice something in front of my door. I look closer and there is a dead bird in front of my place. Yes a stupid bird flew into my door not only killing itself but far worse waking me up. Am I saying that my sleep is more important than that poor bird's life? YES!!! I hate most animals but birds are right up there with horses in my list of useless animals.

Later, JG

All I do is win

So tonight ended my perfect driving record. For over three years I hadn't been in an accident or pulled over at all. That is saying a lot because in high school I drove my dad's 1994 minivan and that thing was perfect for burnouts and drag racing. I didn't need a speedometer because every time it hit 80mph the entire thing would shake, so that one time I got it up to 110mph you would have thought the van had Parkinson's disease. But anyway tonight I was on my way back from Christmas shopping in Faytown with Lexie and I got pulled over. I run through everything I'm going to say in my mind and I roll down the window and its a female cop. She tells me that I was going 80 in a 65. That was such crap because I was only going 75 and I told her the cruise control was on and set at 70. She takes my license and other information and then it gets weird. She comes back and she was like "You need to get a new license" I said "Its not expired, are you talking about the crack in it?" She replies "Nope your face is a lot cuter in life than the picture on your license." She then asks me where I go to school and where I'm from, where I work, whose car am I driving just really personal questions. She gives me a warning after I play the NLR card, and tells me to be careful in my girlfriends car. Okay how did she know Lexie was my girlfriend? It was a weird night. As I look back it all makes sense. Favre has always been my favorite NFL player. His first season was the year I was born and we both ended our streak tonight. He hadn't missed a game, I had never gotten pulled over. This had to be an act of God.

I would just like to apologize to J Ho and AC and the 5 girls from their house who came out to NLR the other week and Garret and myself left in the west 40 haha. Sorry that was rude of us.

When I first started this blog is was all about having fun and just getting memories written down to look back at. Now I feel so much pressure when I write. Not only do I have 19 followers but millions of others who read this but don't follow. Not to mention my girl AP reads this to all of her sorority sisters in Texas. I can't be witty and hilarious all the time, it takes a toll on my health trying to please everyone. I mean pretty much everyone in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Virginia, North Carolina, and Alaska read this. Oh well its the price I have to pay.

In case anyone is interested Get him to the Greek is not a good date movie with Lexie Garret and Beth. What is even worse is instead of finishing the movie Garret decides to jump in the creek. Yes myself and G-love jumped in Flint creek on a brisk December night, why are boys so dumb in front of girls? Oh yeah because we are awesome!

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye- Helen Keller. Oh the irony.

Later, JG

I whip my hair back and forth

Over the last two weeks I have gotten the opportunity to travel to 4 different colleges to assist Rhett in recruiting summer staff for the 2011 summer.

OSU- While we recruit we have a display with pictures, brochures that explain what we do during the summer, and candy. Lots and lots of candy. It's difficult to find quality Christians at a secular university such as Oklahoma State, and most of the students just walked by not very interested. The only way to get students to talk to us was by luring them in with pixie stix. Although this tactic was not extremely successful, some key phrases did come about. Some of these phrases include: I pegged you as a pixie stick kind of girl, candy from strangers all you have to do is bend over and pick it up (pointing to the candy on the ground). So Rhett's job was to talk to the students, my job was to set the mood so I just kind of sat there. A couple walked by and the girl saw who we were and told the boy she was with that she went to NLR for 3 years as a kid, he responded with "No s***? " I went to Kanakuk! Being at OSU allowed me to see some good friends including the one and only Katie Berry. Guys I like Katie a lot, so much I even went to a Biology class with her. After the first 3 minutes I got up and left but it was the thought that counts anyway. So we are wrapping up the the final day at OSU and myself Rhett, Geoff Maples, and Conner are tossing a disc when I see a student checking out what was behind our display. Geoff notices too and approaches the young man and asks if he needs help with anything. He replies no that he just took a piece of candy. So Geoff walks away and the students walks away as well. I decided to follow the student just in case. I was a good 30 yards behind him when he starts walking faster. I begin to run after him and he sees me and takes off. He runs into a building and is nowhere to be found. I reconnect with Geoff who came in the back way. All of the sudden homeboy walks out wearing different clothes holding Geoff's new Droid in his hand along with Conner's Ipod. Geoff looks at homeboy and asks for his phone back and homeboy just gives it to him. Homeboy you are really dumb, for realz.

OBU-After spending a few days there I decided a few things. One, I will never home school my kids, ever. If you think about it kids getting bullied isn't always a bad thing. If a kid is acting weird the bully will let him know and the kid will stop doing it, therefore will stop acting socially awkward and will begin to function better in the world. Yes it hurts at the time but I'm so thankful for all the times my older brother beat me up for listening to the Spice Girls. Two, there were way more interesting people at OBU than OSU. This Asian student stopped by and asked us what we were. We explain we were a summer camp and she laughed at us and informed us that it is winter...


SBU- Luke Stehr likes camp, a lot.

Missouri S & T- This school is kind of labeled for being a nerdy school. The reason it has this reputation is largely due to the fact that it is. But I always look for the silver lining and here it is. I was washing my hands in the bathroom and this girl (who was without a doubt home schooled for most of her life) walks in. She looks at me with the absolute meanest look I have ever seen. The kind of look that says, "You freak why are you in the woman's bathroom?!?" I just smile and continue to wash my hands. She looks at me then turns her head at looks at the urinals. Looks back at me then back at the urinals, then back at me and turns around walks away while saying, "Well that worked out great for me." She just so happened to be in the church service I was at and would not make eye contact with me, and I tried so so hard for that to happen.

On our way back to Oklahoma Rhett and myself stop at the Wal-Mart in Missouri. The bathroom was being cleaned so I just waited outside the door. While I'm waiting these two girls come out with a kid in each arm. They looked to be about my age but it was hard to tell. Thing 1 says to her child 'I'm going to put you in the cart now." She then looks right at me and says, "Can I put you in the cart?" Myself being the clever, witty person I am said, "No." She then says "It's alright I'm preggo anyway." Classy

I have some really strange friends. J Ho just isn't normal, AC pretends to hate me every time I hang out with her so maybe she really does... Yeah those are pretty much my only friends who visit me.

Jesus' first miracle, turning the water into wine. The Baptist's first miracle, turning the wine into grape juice.

Later, JG

X

"Don't be stupid, that's what we have politicians for." "If 10% was good enough for Jesus it should be good enough for the government?" These were just a few of the bumper stickers on this awesome black PT Cruiser I was behind on my way to the Verizon store. I mean after I read those I instantly changed my political views and felt the need to get some for my own non-existent vehicle. I mean honestly if you are going to try to look like an intelligent person with any kind of political wisdom, at least take off the 6 (yes that's right 6) nascar stickers off your Cruiser as well as the Palin '12 sticker. Oh and maybe change the Texas license plate as well.

Last week was my mom's birthday so it thought about all the advice she has shared with me over the years and here are a few that helped me the most. "Don't worry about your grades, just be the best athlete and get everyone to like you. Fine get a tattoo, ruin your body I don't care." There was this one time in 10th grade when I got suspended from school for cheating, which was stupid because I wasn't cheating for myself but I stupid friend who couldn't pass a science quiz, and they called my mom to come pick me up in the principal's office. Apparently they never told her why I was there so when she got there and found out why, it was actually a relief for her to know I was in trouble and not the hospital again for doing something awesome. So thanks mom for all the advice and remember that time you told me I could do whatever I wanted to once I was out of the house? Well I'm JG so obviously I have been doing what I want for awhile now, and I'm going to see Jackass 3 this weekend! Get the jello and chocolate pudding ready, and the ice every half hour. Good times.

Every Tuesday I mentor a 4th grader for 2 hours and it has been the most effective form of birth control ever created. This kid has so much energy its ridiculous. I mean he is an awesome guy, but when the first thing he says to me is "Hey Mr. John, I didn't take my medicine today" makes me wonder if I ever want kids, seriously.

Before I finished I just wanted everyone to know just how awesome Annie Paige is. Get to know her she is really cool. Once you talk to her you will soon realize that her ability to kick herself in the head is the least interesting thing about her, honestly she is great. Oh and Katie Berry is really funny, for a girl.

Girls at christian colleges are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Later JG

Purple Fuzzies,

So this past weekend I had time off so I decided to drop in on my friends up at the U of A. It was a big weekend because Arkansas was playing the number one seen Alabama that Saturday. I arrived Friday night and people were outside the stadium and had been there camping out since Monday. I figured I'm pretty well known so the best way to find people is to start walking down the street where there are already thousands of people. Oh fun fact I actually know the girl who was in the very first tent, just throwing that out there. I barely start walking and I hear someone yell my name. As luck would have it it just so happened to be David Cox. Boys and girls let me tell you, David Cox is a much different person outside of camp. He was actually hilarious, for the first time in my life I enjoyed being around him.

I later met up with my other friends JHo and Anna Clark, and we went to Taco Bell and Wal Mart (you know the places that we didn't go to at all all summer). So the next day was the football game and I still didn't have a ticket. Not gonna lie I almost felt uncomfortable walking around the busy streets with one finger up indicating I needed one ticket. It was funny because many people felt the need to put another finger up at me even though they already had tickets... Stay classy Arkansas. I'm walking down the street and some one else yells at me and she is in a car and it was one of those I know who you are but can't remember at the moment so it was real awkward because I didn't know what to say, sorry Allie. I finally find this nice african american male and he offers to sell me his ticket. At first he asks for $300 but because I grew up on the streets I knew what to do. I laugh and walk off knowing he will hollar back. Well he wasn't no hollar back guy so I ended up walking back. I told him I was from NC and that I drove all through the night to get here but left my ticket on the table. ( yes I am from NC true, yes I did drive all through the night to get here true, did I leave my ticket on the table, not so true) So I show him my NC drivers license, tell him the seats are awful, the game will be a blowout, and no one is looking for a single ticket. Yup I definitely walked away with a $300 ticket for $60. The seats were awful so I just walked past the security and sat in the student section. I'm telling you if you walk anywhere acting like you own the place you will be surprised with how little people will try to stop you.

I drove back that night because Arkansas lost so everyone went home or started studying for Monday. I however had a rondevu that night so it ended up working out. I like to think I'm pretty good at coming up with a plan B on the spur of the moment situations. So whenever my phone died on the way back I had to come up with something. I could have either went home and called my friend the let my friend know I couldn't make it because my phone died, but that would have been pretty lame and lets face it JG does not stoop to the lame level. So I stop at the hotel to use their computer. The clerk tells me the computer has been down all day and won't be fixed until the next day. I asked to see it anyway and I'm no computer geek by any means but I totes def figured out the modem was plugged into the wrong part of the computer and I fixed it within like 3 mins, just sayin. So I get on facebook find my friend's number call my friend to make sure we were still on for our rondevu find out where we are meeting and all that jazz while using the hotel's phone.

I keep having this reoccurring dream that my high school diploma isn't real and I have to do my senior year all over again. So I guess it's more of a nightmare. So I go to some random school in oklahoma and end up playing football as a 20 year old senior. That's about as far as I get before I wake up but last night for some reason the Duggars were at my game. I guess because I was at their house Sunday night they were still fresh on my mind.

"JG put me in your blog"-Everyone

Later, JG

Get your friends to follow me! I'm conceded but I don't care.

I'm a pretty big fan of people watching to say the least. Some call it an invasion of privacy, but I just think of it as a hobby. So last night I was at this real janky outdoor skate park in downtown Siloam Springs and it may be my go to spot for the year. Last year was easy because I could just leave my room and people watch anywhere. Yeah everyone at Liberty was either home schooled or just lacked social skills. It was awesome! So last night I was just skating around (shirtless) looking real white trash thugg. I was doing my thing and this mexican playa walks up trying to start sumthan. I was actually wrong he just wanted a lighter. We had a good talk, his name was michael and just moved here from California. He wants to go back but is on parole here for underaged drinking hahah stay classy Siloam.

My phone is awful and my one year insurance is up next week so I made a visit to my local verizone dealer. If you want a new phone its pretty easy. If you tell them that your phone is messed up physically than they will blame it on you and make you pay for it. Here is what I did. I told them something random like my speaker phone keeps turning on, which it did twice today, and they are going to give me a new phone for free. Which is awesome because it is falling apart.

The phone incident reminded me of some other things that happened whenever I was younger. In early high school, when I was still listening to awful music, Underaoth came into town. Since I was poor I didn't have money for a ticket I decided to show up anyway and see what I could do, I mean after all I'm John Grant. So I show up and go directly to the lady taking tickets and tell her my name is on the VIP list and my ticket is waiting for me. Of course my name was not on the list but if you act upset enough things happen. I just so happened to have Aaron Gillespie's phone number, the drummer/vocals for Underoath, in my phone. I got the number from a friend from school who tried to open for them, but got denied. The lady wasn't buying my story at all that me and Aaron are good family friends and how pissed he will be if she didn't let me in. I end up calling him and it goes straight to voicemail, which is good because he would have had no idea who I am if he had answered. So she finally lets me and my friend in. It was the best/worse free concert I have ever attended.

So tonight I have 103. To those of you who aren't down with the NLR lingo that means I have the phone the people here call if there is an emergency. So i'm sitting here at my office listening to some pandora and checking up on my fantasy team when the phone goes off. I wasn't paying attention to what I was listening to on pandora and apparently if you plug in Nirvana you will eventually get Eminem so I can't just answer with all the naughty words going off in the background. I can't find the volume so i have to just shut my laptop, which didn't stop it at all, so I had to leave the room. The voice on the other end tells me to call an ambulance because a kid had broken his leg. I freak out a bit because I didn't know what to do. I soon get another call saying a cabin is missing a camper. I get another call telling me to cancel the ambulance and the kid was faking. It was crazy but everything turned out alright!

Where's Parker? He's on that skypy-skype thing...-Garret Blythe

Later, JG

Luke Stehr

I miss college. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love what I'm doing right now, but I also miss always having something going on and staying up late. So most nights I have off you will find me hitting up JBU or the U of A just so I can be around people my own age and maturity. If anyone is ever at Arkansas and has nothing to do call J Ho, she is always up to something and never needs to be told in advance you are coming. Just call her and tell her you're on your way to her dorm she loves it when you do that.

Tonight I was driving back from my first high school football game in seven years and I stopped at the Siloam Taco bell. I was about to go in and I saw like 7 bigger guys with cut off sleeves in line about to order. Usually I would fit in perfectly but on this night I was wearing my new jacket and was feeling like a nancy boy. So I just ended up going through the drive thru. Don't worry I regained my manliness. When the waitress took my order and asked what sauce I wanted I told her to give me the hottest they had. Oh yeah she could tell how much of a man I was after that. Even though I just threw the sauce away after I got it, I still felt better.

This week I have been leading roughly 600 6th graders from Jenks in different activities. I know I taught them all so many life skills but I also learned something important as well. That's right I have decided to not have kids, ever. They all behaved but today I had to help a kid who was crossing the creek and started getting carried away. This kid had Down Syndrome and was an awesome kid, I would have jumped in for any kid but I felt like I really needed for this situation. Even though I got soaked by freezing cold water the kid was fine, Sarah Palin would be proud...too far?

Not being in school so far has really given me some serious time to evaluate what I want to do in life. So here is my new life plan. Go to the duggars house, because I am on the approved list of visitors, and pick out a girl around my age to date. Date her until they start filming a new season and do something questionable to get media attention. Break up with her once I find out all their family secrets and go straight to hollywood. Be a special guest on the Soup and that will launch my career. I mean this is a foolproof plan, but just in case it doesn't I'm also really tempted to go work on a cruise ship next year.

Every week for two hours I mentor this awesome 4th grader. If someone told me a few years ago I would be where I am now and doing the things I do I would not have believed them. Funny how things work out.

"Do you know my mom's best friend's middle name?" "No" Yeah I didn't think so...-Some Jenks girl.

Later, JG