Nevermore

So I was laying in bed yesterday morning when I get a knock on my door. It was strange for a number of reasons. One it was 7 A.M. Two it was a single knock. Three it was 7 A.M. in the morning. So I get out of bed put on some clothes and hope whoever is at my door has a good reason for waking me up. There are only a few things in life that make me immediately pissed off. One of those is being woken up for a stupid reason. (another one is when the hot dog bun breaks in half, seriously that makes me so cross) So I open the door and no one is there. I was livid. Not only did I get out of bed and put on clothes but it is freezing and no one is there. I got back to bed super angry trying to figure out who would ding dong ditch me at 7 A.M. I go to work trying to figure out who the funny guy is. As I return home I notice something in front of my door. I look closer and there is a dead bird in front of my place. Yes a stupid bird flew into my door not only killing itself but far worse waking me up. Am I saying that my sleep is more important than that poor bird's life? YES!!! I hate most animals but birds are right up there with horses in my list of useless animals.

Later, JG

All I do is win

So tonight ended my perfect driving record. For over three years I hadn't been in an accident or pulled over at all. That is saying a lot because in high school I drove my dad's 1994 minivan and that thing was perfect for burnouts and drag racing. I didn't need a speedometer because every time it hit 80mph the entire thing would shake, so that one time I got it up to 110mph you would have thought the van had Parkinson's disease. But anyway tonight I was on my way back from Christmas shopping in Faytown with Lexie and I got pulled over. I run through everything I'm going to say in my mind and I roll down the window and its a female cop. She tells me that I was going 80 in a 65. That was such crap because I was only going 75 and I told her the cruise control was on and set at 70. She takes my license and other information and then it gets weird. She comes back and she was like "You need to get a new license" I said "Its not expired, are you talking about the crack in it?" She replies "Nope your face is a lot cuter in life than the picture on your license." She then asks me where I go to school and where I'm from, where I work, whose car am I driving just really personal questions. She gives me a warning after I play the NLR card, and tells me to be careful in my girlfriends car. Okay how did she know Lexie was my girlfriend? It was a weird night. As I look back it all makes sense. Favre has always been my favorite NFL player. His first season was the year I was born and we both ended our streak tonight. He hadn't missed a game, I had never gotten pulled over. This had to be an act of God.

I would just like to apologize to J Ho and AC and the 5 girls from their house who came out to NLR the other week and Garret and myself left in the west 40 haha. Sorry that was rude of us.

When I first started this blog is was all about having fun and just getting memories written down to look back at. Now I feel so much pressure when I write. Not only do I have 19 followers but millions of others who read this but don't follow. Not to mention my girl AP reads this to all of her sorority sisters in Texas. I can't be witty and hilarious all the time, it takes a toll on my health trying to please everyone. I mean pretty much everyone in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Virginia, North Carolina, and Alaska read this. Oh well its the price I have to pay.

In case anyone is interested Get him to the Greek is not a good date movie with Lexie Garret and Beth. What is even worse is instead of finishing the movie Garret decides to jump in the creek. Yes myself and G-love jumped in Flint creek on a brisk December night, why are boys so dumb in front of girls? Oh yeah because we are awesome!

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye- Helen Keller. Oh the irony.

Later, JG